Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
