So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
