how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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