My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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