dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
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She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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