So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
