i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Also, beer. Big fan.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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