You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize