all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
