Dual....:-)
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
i've created a new STD.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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