it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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