So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
