I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Sorry about my life...
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
