I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
