he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Never underestimate the power of titties
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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