Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
