from now on my penis is your penis
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
