no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
