I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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