Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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