life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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