Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
