I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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