Duck Duck Cougar?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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