How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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