He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
