it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Randomize
