:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
