Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
