Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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