You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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