So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
