i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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