garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
