He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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