God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
