i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
