u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize