I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
