Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
