I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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