She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
