Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
