Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
