We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Send help, water and tortillas.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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