I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
