East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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