i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
