I want to make a zoo with you.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
