You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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