I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I don't deserve a penis
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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