is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
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Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize