i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
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Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
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I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Dick very happy bro
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize