Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
