this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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