we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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