I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
