Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
