Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
