cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
