He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
