I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Randomize
