He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
