oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
