I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize