32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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