Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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